Time is precious. I no longer want to waste it. I've been moving through this world, foolishly believing that my future was guaranteed, but that veil of illusion has been lifted for me.

I've been waiting months now to find out if I have cancer. It's been hard and stressful, yet also a really beautiful time in my life. The fear ebbs and flows with a raw sense of gratitude.

Being a human is hard and sometimes I wonder why I'm here. The depths of pain and ecstasy that we have the capacity to experience is both incredible and daunting. But this potential cancer diagnosis has grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me, asking me if I'm living a life that's true to who I am. If this is how I really want to spend my time on earth?

I realized that the time we have here is so precious, and what makes it's all worth it are the people and the relationships. If we are lucky enough to live a long life and look back at it in old age, it's not our job title or material things we're going to remember - it's the people and the moments we had with them. Authentic connection is what gives our lives meaning.

It's funny that sometimes we need to experience something dark to turn us toward the light, but it also makes perfect sense. How would we recognize one if the other didn't exist? It's the natural balance of life. As Esther Perel says:

"Catastrophe has a way of propelling us into the essence of things."

Whatever is happening right now is temporary. There will be a day that I look back and feel nostalgic for this time in my life. I'm so happy to be here experiencing it, darkness and all.